Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
