I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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