I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
