You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
