All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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