he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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