ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
