Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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