I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
