i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
