No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Randomize