I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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