I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
