I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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