Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
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still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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