went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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