Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
