he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
