She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
