Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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