I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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