i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
