If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
