If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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