forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
