i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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