This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I need to align my fucking chakras
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
