i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
