Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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