Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Everything about him screamed your future.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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