i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
