i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
