Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard

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(847): View more from Illinois

she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.

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(574): View more from Indiana

He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy

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(708): View more from Illinois

i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life

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(701): View more from North Dakota

ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO

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(816): View more from Missouri

i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino

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(303): View more from Colorado

I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.

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