i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
