Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
