Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
