Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
