Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
