Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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