i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
