all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I know her cup size but not her name....
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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