Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
