What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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