Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it glows. i had to have it.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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