maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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