I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
