remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
