I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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