normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
