Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
