i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
