doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
