is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
