Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
