Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
