I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
