Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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