:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize