3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I wish I could punch you in the face.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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