I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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